Friday, May 29, 2009

kcl busy?

Tried to join and no "confirmation email.. I guess i will wait till it sends or renew. I was sick till last friday. I worked putting up a shoe shelf for all the wive's shoes. I then helped my mom and dad with work around their house. Meanwhile my wife decided to refinish our dining room table. I originally tried to fix a damaged leaf. where the clearcoat was damaged I tried something and screwed it up. I came home and she tried to do the whole table and in the process she has put all kinds of divets in them.. I will go tomorrow to go hiking in the wichita moutains (hills snow i know) and go eat at meers. I am looking forward to it. I had a hellish week two projects at once. so sorry for the lack of updates. I watched xmen and yes man good movies all. i am out amf!

Monday, May 18, 2009

lion king

I don't know if i am sick or if i just have hella allergies. I went to sleep last night with a sore throat and not being able to breath. I hope its not something that the land man i work with had.. She was puking all last week. Eventually I went to sleep and at 3 a.m i get woken up by the wife saying i think someone is mowing their lawn! I immediately thought it was the asians next door because they do weird stuff at weird hours. but it was a police helicopter and cops looking for someone. It freaked her out. and today i promised to look into areas looking for the boogy man. But i checked the news and called the police and no one knows why a police copter was flying back and forth for and hour and a half. I took my mom to the lion king. It was very cool although it wasn't " perfect" it was hard getting my dad around because although we thought it would be easier it wasn't to take dad in a wheelchair. My dad and mom sat at one side and the other side of the isle the wife and I.. we sat behind a family of women and the mater familas was about 90 wearing a polyester coat/ outfit. and as the play started a ammonia smell crashed over us. at first we thought it was a full depends but no it was like old cat pee. and lots of it.. the entire play we were trying to not smell this noxious smell. we held our playbill to our nose the entire time. My mom thinks this is what is causing it.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

news today

A few funny posts

A Russian grandmother has convinced cosmetic surgeons to give her a “designer vagina” to find herself a young husband.


Just don't say oops, doc!
The 75-year-old woman, identified only as Nina M., said she wanted the trendy surgery to rekindle her sex life, according to The Sun.

Her doctor, Anna Uzunova, said such requests usually are from much younger women, but she agreed to perform the operation to help her have pleasurable intimate relationships.

Afterward, Nina said she was happy with the results and felt like a young woman again.

FORT WAYNE, Ind. - Officials say a suspected drug dealer who led police on a 90 mph chase in Indiana was arrested after he stopped suddenly at a Taco Bell parking lot.

Fort Wayne police Sgt. Mark Walters says 36-year-old Jermaine Askia Cooper told officers he "knew he was going to jail for a while" and wanted to get one last burrito.

Cooper was held without bail on four counts of dealing cocaine, one count of resisting arrest by fleeing and other charges.

A voicemail mailbox for a listing for a Jermaine Cooper in Fort Waine was full and not accepting messages.

Police say the chase began Tuesday after officers spotted Cooper, who was wanted on other charges, and tried to pull him over


Ok the guy must of had the munchies!
and Lerm theres a wife for you in russia!!!

took a mental day yesterday. things are good (i think)

Friday, May 8, 2009

old photos.

















here are "embarrassing photos for you and of course two of snowangel. the really bad ones are still with my mom. But i have included the class pic that i love to hate and some that aren't so bad. I hope they all come through.
i would go through and do a discourse but the commnts will be funny themselves

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

love my job

because someone has wifi that didn't lock it and i can sometimes look at dilbert cartoons

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

story for the js'rs

So on the simons journal. there is a whole thing for shoe porn. well here is a use for the shoes

AKRON, Ohio - The Akron Police Department is investigating a fight between two exotic dancers at a strip club -- that sent one of the entertainers to the hospital.

The victim, Jo Ellen Nolan, 52, says she recently lost her job so she accepted a friend's offer to take a position as a dancer at Club 1245 in Akron. But police say on her first night at work, one of her new co-workers took exception to Nolan's presence in the dressing room at the club and began shouting at her.

Nolan says the other dancer then attacked her with a high-heel shoe, striking her in the head multiple times. After bouncers broke up the fight, Nolan was taken to Akron General Hospital, where she was treated for lacerations on her forehead and on the top and side of her head.

Doctors had to use staples to close some of the cuts.

Nolan says it was "the worst pain, nobody wants to get hit in the head, especially with a hard shoe."

The owner of Club 1245 declined comment on the allegations but a manager told Fox 8 News over the phone that Jo Ellen Nolan was not considered an employee of the club.

Akron Police were notified about the incident by the hospital and have launched an investigation.

"Obviously it is a crime," Lt. Rick Edwards said. "Our officers marked it as a felonious assault because there's permanent damage on her head where she had staples put in her forehead and on the side of her head."

So far, authorities have been unable to identify the dancer who attacked Nolan. But they have a lead, she goes by the stage name "Beautiful."

Nolan says her days as a dancer are now over, telling Fox 8, "I've learned my lesson. I think I was just being stupid anyway. I just have to go to a temporary service or keep looking for a job. That was just an easy way out and it turned out to be H-E-double-L."

the fox station had a video but it wasn't in a youtube format etc..
anyways wow!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

catch up

Ok been gone for a while.
Sorry about that
I just haven't felt like writing, and i have been hella busy. I have a corporation comission hearing which was going to be next week-then end of may now first of june, a terrible risk anaylisis class (pete rose) where one of the instructors was a squinty eyed canadian that thought he was the shit. My nickname for him.. guido.
OK then me and the wife go to sonic for a 99 cent candy sundae. Anyways long story short I made a joke that she was a prostitute to her and we laughed about it but then all the guys and even the carhops were kinda giving us a look. Well we decided two things, A. They were listening to us way after the order was made and B. I had to get out of there before they really could memorize what we looked like.
We decided that next time we should make up stories or a script for those guys. any ideas?
also I find that i am obsessed with catching up or staying current with certain websites, like break.com, college humor, and now pmates.com.
I have some pics from my last trip to colorado, went to utah had some good pics. I will post them eventually. I leave next week for a field course which i think will be ok. I miss the old js and the people too many people are leaving or not getting on and we don't know when people leave comments on our pages.
well just saying i love all of you (purely platonic of course) wink.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

steve did you move to massachusetts?

Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email


If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death.

Kinahan resigned as the coach of the 6- and 7-year-old girls team (not pictured) before the season even started, due to a hilarious and possibly insane email sent to parents as a way to introduce himself. Rather than try to explain it, let's get right to the fun. This portion of the letter is aimed at the sideline behavior of the parents, and is possibly my favorite part:

It is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.

Other excerpts (keep in mind this team is comprised of 6- and 7-year-old girls):




OK, here's the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge "Team 7" for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don't need to talk to me.


I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the "W" in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it's good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can't handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines.

America's youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as "bad". I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don't animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn't grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food.

Who's with me? Go Green Death!

Hilarity did not ensue. From Kinahan's resignation letter:




Team, After careful consideration, I have decided to resign from all coaching responsibilities related to Team 7 this season. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that some parents and the Board of Scituate Soccer failed to see the humor in my pre-season email.

Friday, March 20, 2009

bob barker in porn

saw this on the rags today. Thought this was funny.. come one down would mean a whole different thing if this would have happened.

" The National Enquirer is reporting that before Bob Barker made his name as the host of The Price is Right, he was offered a job doing pornographic films. At the time, he was a model in Palm Beach, and did some shoots that ended up in ads in road maps. Another photographer saw the pictures and decided to offer Bob the porn job when he traveled to California to become an actor. The story comes from his soon-to-be published memoirs called Priceless Memories, a play off the name of the show that made him famous.

“Bob says at the time he was a ‘buff’ photography model in Palm Beach,” a publishing source familiar with the book told The ENQUIRER.

“Pictures of him ended up in ads on road maps, with Bob posing as a ’smiling gas station attendant.’

“The hunky photos caught the attention of another photographer, who met with Bob when he went west to California to seek his fame and fortune.

“But this man had other plans for Bob - the man asked him to appear in porn movies!”

Bob turned down the offer and went on to find fame as the host of the popular CBS game show The Price Is Right.

[from the National Enquirer]

This is the National Enquirer, so take it with a grain of salt, but the story is so outlandish that I’m guessing it’s true. His charm on The Price is Right came from his approachability and wholesomeness - can you imagine sweet old Bob Barker gettin’ it on in front of a camera?

Still, his time on the show was fraught with sex scandals. The Price is Right women were often called “Bob’s Beauties” because he managed to seduce so many of them. He was also sued by one of the female presenters, Dian Parkinson, for coercing her into sex. Bob eventually admitted that they had slept together, but claimed that it was consensual. The case was dropped when Dian realized her resources couldn’t compete with the kind of lawyers Bob would be able to afford. Despite these sex scandals, Bob’s wholesome reputation remained intact.

Hopefully his memoirs will have even more of these scandalous stories - I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who would be interested to hear what went on behind the cameras."

Thursday, March 19, 2009

one

from u2..
is it getting better or do you feel the same?
anyways things are better i think.. she just is having a hard time because she believes all men are pigs that cheat.
i don't
i may look
thats the problem is she has a low self esteem that this bothers her and then it bothers her that it bothers her..
thats a woman.
anyways things are good
going to see moutains saturday
its good to get away hopefully a healing trip.. maybe she can forget that she is having a hard time adjusting.
and just have a fun time

Monday, March 16, 2009

small update.

Things are settling down some around here. But currently at odds with the wife. short story women are nuts.

Friday, March 6, 2009

My Dad turned 60 this Monday. I have been very busy this week with my team moving office buildings and a asset review so i didn't write this the day it happened. My dad went to the navy at 19, wanted to go to the air force but they contacted him right after he enlisted. He wanted to do something cool but Uncle Sam needed him in the boiler room for the uss constellation. anyways he then got out and worked for the FAA. started in the warehouse packing boxes, but after some schools he became a plumber, an AC man, A mechanic, and an electrician all at uncle Sam's expense. He always provided for me and is/was a very good friend. I have a great relationship with my dad the only time things got "heated" was when i was 13 and my mom tried to spank me and i grabbed the wooden spoon and told her no. I was called out to the garage where my dad was working on the car and as he flexed his muscles said "boy you obey your mother or you are going to have to deal with me and if you think you are big enough then lets go" needless to say i did what i was told because at that time my dad would have whooped my ass. He gave me very good life advice and we went fishing in his boat every summer. we didn't have much money but we always had "vacations" even if it was just camping at the lake. My best memory is when my I was called to the principles office in 2nd grade and instead of being in trouble my dad was there with the truck and bass boat and we went fishing instead. He was always fun to talk to and alot like me. In 1992 he had a tumor on his auditory nerve between his brain and ear drum in his inner ear, we thought it was an infection etc but during the operation they had to cut the nerve to remove the tumor. he lost his sense of balance some and he was now deaf in one ear but that was it. Well he never went back for a follow up (we didn't know he was supposed too) and two years ago he went in for a hearing aid for his other ear. well they did the check up then and in the previous surgery left a tiny tiny piece of the tumor. well unchecked that thing grew and was so big it was actually pressing on his brain stem and coming out of his skull. they cut his head open (again) and lifted his brain up again and took all of the tumor out. It wrapped itself around his facial nerve so they cut that out but while they were at it they cut a nerve on his tongue and connected it to his facial nerve. he had very high blood pressure and i asked the doctor about it and they didn't seem too concerned at the time but after the surgery he had a stroke. Later they found out that it was a hormone imbalance of his adrenal glands the entire time. and this could have been prevented. This caused him to have problems talking, eating and walking. He has half of his face numb and he sees double. He also had his eye stitched with two stitches because he cant really blink. He is doing much better now except the blinking thing and the double vision thing. And his balance is not returning he constantly feels like he is falling. He uses a walker or a wheelchair most of the time. My mom has rheumatoid arthritis and she is the primary caregiver. and that is why i am living in Oklahoma ( but honestly I like it better than Houston). I am trying to help them out and let my dad have a few really good experiences and life.
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Me and dad at my wedding looking good I don't have any more here at work.
but happy birthday dad i am glad you are here.

Monday, March 2, 2009

monday sux

so I was going to do a really good post but that will have to wait till tomorrow because i am living on very little sleep insomnia is a bitch. My wife had insomnia too so she canceled out on the basketball game tonight. So I am trying to get rid of NBA tickets in the 100's
arrgh

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Motley Crue

So this morning the new title of their tour was announced. "red neck circus" - seriously? I guess they know who there male fans are. But man there are going to be hot trashy girls. i should go but probably not a good thing since all i would be doing is looking for the boobies. anyways look at the site for tour stops. (if you want to go in august to houston let me know Maybe i can find and excuse.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

update

Not much else is going on. pretty booring buisness trip (we saw a girl with a front butt as big as her back butt) and razzing each other about being gay.. and at the end we were all put in a plane where we had to sit right next to each other in the back of the plane. I did see a hot springs. I threw a big reception party at my house where all the family showed up. The wife was stressed about that about 100 people showed up so it was a crowded party. The weather is nice this week but will turn cold I wish it would just stay that way. I am ready for nice weather. I think i might just go away this weekend somewhere do a small day trip. Its my dad's 60'th birthday. I want to do something cool with him. trying to figure it out. I think i will blog about him next.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

airport story

So no pics but when i was coming home i landed got our luggage and got in the free airport shuttle (because the garage is under construction and no place to park. I am a veteran traveler so i kept the slip that the shuttle driver gave me a slip of paper telling me where i park right? well i land and give the slip of paper to the new driver and we go to find my car. its not there. we get out to maybe find it by foot and i cant find it. second bus comes by and we look then security is called and we are taken to where the office of the checkpoint people. I had to use the restroom and the bathroom was locked. but then a flush and a fat woman walks out - 400 easy. I walk in and the smell about knocks me over but i go anyways, holding my breath. well someone knocks and I hurry up and flush wash the hands and out i go. The woman goes in and curses me and At THAT MOMENT the security guy shows up. I ask Julia to explain it wasn't me that destroyed this place. SO I have to go to find my car, which the driver gave me a slip that isn't even close to where i parked. totally on the other side of lot. anyways i find it and i pick julia up, Where she tells me that the old woman tells the fatso that was responsible that her "feat" was not unnoticed and that she should be more concientious. I then ask if julia explained it wasn't me to the woman that came in after me and she said that she was laughing and couldn't tell her in time. So I purposely find that woman to pay my parking money to and first thing i said was " It wasn't me that destroyed that bathroom it was the coworker in the booth behind you" and we talked about how haneous that was and how lysol helped and how my nosehairs are burned off. and off i went. It was the principle of the thing i don't want anyone thinking I destroy bathrooms like that and just leave it like that.

Honeymoon pt 3 (last one)

So we flew back from san juan and then flew to guadilajara where it is one huge crazy polluted city. we stayed in a pretty nice hotel (although twin beds) and then we had a very good breakfast although i ate rotten corn mold on a gordita but hey it wasn't that bad. we then finally left and went to manzanillo (about a 4 hour drive in the dark on mexican turnpikes which was very weird.)which i was informed was where the movie "10" was filmed and made. I didn't believe it till i got there and that was the only thing in english was a loop of that movie. and i watched it in pieces most of the next day because that day was "picture day" where i stood in the heat while julia was photographed by a guy named jehovah that smoked so much that when he touched you to position you for the shot you got a nicotine high. All of his pictures were the kind where you were staring off into space and found that thing very amusing.
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the beach
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outside our room
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and a cool thing on the wall
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however first night i went to the pool and got bit by a whole bunch of sand fleas, they are aweful!! they called them jejenes i called them the devil
then there were cuchalupas(sp?) but they are mole crabs. I honestly thing they are more related to shrimp
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anyways those were weird things.
took a whole bunch of pics (300) then we had dinner on the beach and music xylophone music it was strange. The next day i snorkled again (saw a skate and a pufferfish) and some other cool stuff i didn't see on the atlantic side. Ate dinner in a taquria and went home the next day. Flew all sunday and went to work on monday.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Honeymoon part 2

So here are a few pics of the volcano and st lucia. (before st marteen)
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hot springs that napolean visited
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This was the only beach i saw there
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Ok then we went to caracao next to tortola was my favorite island

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there was a swinging bridge to let ships in and out
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and then the caribbeans tallest bridge is there too. We went to the curacao distillery, where the orange liquor is made
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we also went and ate some local foods where i got to try johnny cakes and some local cuisine pretty good stuff

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aruba was our last stop I only took like 3 pics because well 1 wife kinda went weird because there were some college girls topless there.. and no i didn't stare. and two we only went to the beach. It was called baby beach in the southern side it was only about 4 feet deep forever and then bounded by coral i snorkled there and it was the biggest rip off because with taxi and equipment was 90 bucks.

then we sailed and arrived back at san juan
View from the window
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The lobby
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the "beach"
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and then me snorkeling
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everytime i did something would happen were i would about drown this was no different.
I inhaled when my snorkel filled up. I was looking at sea urchins and knew that i had to stand up on them because a fin fell off too. meanwhile (see the crashing waves?) that caused a huge current thing which makes it difficult to stand so a french guy came out because i was well fighting for my life. and after being situated i swam ashore only to realize that i had my cell phone in my pocket the entire time so no movies to watch on the plane ride home and to top it off i also with the help of my wife lost my ipod too. so sucky end to a wonderful trip. we got home at 6 the next day and had to leave for mexico the next day at 2 so much laundry and very tired.
definition of heaven :
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Thursday, February 5, 2009

honeymoon Pt 1.

I don't know if it will be a two parter but hey maybe.after wedding:
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we went to san juan and got on the boat Tortola first stop The ship was ok except too far back so engine stopping was like a 5.o earthquake every morning and yes i could feel the boat rock all the time. the first stop was nice in fact probably the best stop because not very touristy and very nice sand and beach

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At lunch/ breakfast met a guy named shadow and a guy that was in his yacht. just bummed at the beach.
The second stop st. lucia, Very cool saw some forest and a drive in volcano the only one of its kind. very fun, got ripped off by some locals very poor areas might go back I might put some pics of that but it didn't get loaded to my photobucket snow i know you want to see the volcano. Third island was St marteen.

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The beach was not fun either lots of shells and coarse sand. however while we were there we wanted a pic of us in the water,
and the old ladies by us left so the only person that was there was this person

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This person then came out into the water instead of taking the pic and putting the camera down on our cots. There were people that once they saw the topless girl left. I then took a pic of this couple and yes he is wearing a speedo and his gut was huge.

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compared to that i think we look good
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the next stop was barbados where we went on a shipwreck snorkel trip with the ship and these are the people they hired

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Then we were to hang out at the beach and drink drinks at this place

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The beach was nice and the island seemed ok. We didn't see much of it but they make lots of rum so industry is a good thing it reduces the poor beggars
However the snorkel thing was scary the first time kinda hyperventilated and felt like i couldn't get my breath. Julia was freaked out and just stopped. I got back in and it was cool 17oo's era shipwreck awesome.

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The next stop was grenada which would never go back however nice spices
This was the town, there was a dead bum there
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right here actually.

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then a tunnel we went through
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This is a working chocolate factory for Hersey's.
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They also had a tour where a woman showed us the local produce spices and things

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above is the chocolate plant

It was very strange I tried the raw cocoa seed it tasted like a lemon plum. We then toured a nutmeg factory and although boring they did have this there:

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If i could bring unlimited liquids and liqour i would have brought this in.

This is nutmeg

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it is farmed there the red is mace. they take the mace off dry the mace and send it then they process the nutmeg. mainly by drying then putting in water to see how much oil is in it then they crack and dry the nutmeg and send it off.

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there were waterfalls and romancing the stone was filmed here.

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We then had a one day on the water before we went to caraco and aruba. We had a pretty good time and there are lots of photos for those areas.