Tuesday, April 28, 2009

love my job

because someone has wifi that didn't lock it and i can sometimes look at dilbert cartoons

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

story for the js'rs

So on the simons journal. there is a whole thing for shoe porn. well here is a use for the shoes

AKRON, Ohio - The Akron Police Department is investigating a fight between two exotic dancers at a strip club -- that sent one of the entertainers to the hospital.

The victim, Jo Ellen Nolan, 52, says she recently lost her job so she accepted a friend's offer to take a position as a dancer at Club 1245 in Akron. But police say on her first night at work, one of her new co-workers took exception to Nolan's presence in the dressing room at the club and began shouting at her.

Nolan says the other dancer then attacked her with a high-heel shoe, striking her in the head multiple times. After bouncers broke up the fight, Nolan was taken to Akron General Hospital, where she was treated for lacerations on her forehead and on the top and side of her head.

Doctors had to use staples to close some of the cuts.

Nolan says it was "the worst pain, nobody wants to get hit in the head, especially with a hard shoe."

The owner of Club 1245 declined comment on the allegations but a manager told Fox 8 News over the phone that Jo Ellen Nolan was not considered an employee of the club.

Akron Police were notified about the incident by the hospital and have launched an investigation.

"Obviously it is a crime," Lt. Rick Edwards said. "Our officers marked it as a felonious assault because there's permanent damage on her head where she had staples put in her forehead and on the side of her head."

So far, authorities have been unable to identify the dancer who attacked Nolan. But they have a lead, she goes by the stage name "Beautiful."

Nolan says her days as a dancer are now over, telling Fox 8, "I've learned my lesson. I think I was just being stupid anyway. I just have to go to a temporary service or keep looking for a job. That was just an easy way out and it turned out to be H-E-double-L."

the fox station had a video but it wasn't in a youtube format etc..
anyways wow!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

catch up

Ok been gone for a while.
Sorry about that
I just haven't felt like writing, and i have been hella busy. I have a corporation comission hearing which was going to be next week-then end of may now first of june, a terrible risk anaylisis class (pete rose) where one of the instructors was a squinty eyed canadian that thought he was the shit. My nickname for him.. guido.
OK then me and the wife go to sonic for a 99 cent candy sundae. Anyways long story short I made a joke that she was a prostitute to her and we laughed about it but then all the guys and even the carhops were kinda giving us a look. Well we decided two things, A. They were listening to us way after the order was made and B. I had to get out of there before they really could memorize what we looked like.
We decided that next time we should make up stories or a script for those guys. any ideas?
also I find that i am obsessed with catching up or staying current with certain websites, like break.com, college humor, and now pmates.com.
I have some pics from my last trip to colorado, went to utah had some good pics. I will post them eventually. I leave next week for a field course which i think will be ok. I miss the old js and the people too many people are leaving or not getting on and we don't know when people leave comments on our pages.
well just saying i love all of you (purely platonic of course) wink.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

steve did you move to massachusetts?

Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email

If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death.

Kinahan resigned as the coach of the 6- and 7-year-old girls team (not pictured) before the season even started, due to a hilarious and possibly insane email sent to parents as a way to introduce himself. Rather than try to explain it, let's get right to the fun. This portion of the letter is aimed at the sideline behavior of the parents, and is possibly my favorite part:

It is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.

Other excerpts (keep in mind this team is comprised of 6- and 7-year-old girls):

OK, here's the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge "Team 7" for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don't need to talk to me.

I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the "W" in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it's good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can't handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines.

America's youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as "bad". I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don't animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn't grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food.

Who's with me? Go Green Death!

Hilarity did not ensue. From Kinahan's resignation letter:

Team, After careful consideration, I have decided to resign from all coaching responsibilities related to Team 7 this season. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that some parents and the Board of Scituate Soccer failed to see the humor in my pre-season email.