Stories wedding part 1

I was going to post photos, and I will, but then i thought of the stories that go along with it.
Christmas was fine, after Christmas i did have two bachelor parties, I went to a few clubs and dinner Friday night with my current work wife and all her friends, Then Saturday night i went with a girl that used to work with and her friend, ( i never dated this girl but i did help with the soft core adult website she was trying to start and although i have seen her topless she has so much going on downstairs that i wouldn't touch her with protection-also she is nasty like that girl from seinfield or was it friends where there was rotten food in her couch.) anyways they want to take me to a nudie bar that i am not familiar with but they assure me it is a good place. OMG it was in an industrial park and I thought it was a roadhouse, we walk in and there are very fat black and hispanic women and lots of stretch marked big bellys -like they just had the kid last week and still lactating. there were two skinny girls one of them a goth girl, well the goth girl and the friend (casey) have a crush on each other the reason we are there. I am wearing a gold boobie crown and a white bachelor tshirt that has the checklist like (buy me a beer, or flash me,) anyways the other skinny one looks like a crack addict, and she says she is going to tell me her fantasy, well it consisted of her with another girl and her snorting coke off of the other girls back. That was it, whispered at an incredibly loud tone and so fast because in her own words "just snorted some coke" and as she was telling me this i noticed her silver bikini was stained and she had a hint of body odor about her person. so i promised we would come back so casey could have a lap dance with the goth girl and with a bribe of a first round of drinks are on me went to night trips, much better place, i got to do the up on stage thing and got a free tshirt (which is now in the garbage along with the rest of the boobie crown and white tshirt, they also made me a boobie cake, so good bach party as far as i am concerned it could be more drunken and more crazy,

I then went to Houston to pick up my fiancee and pack her stuff. (like clothes she is going to wear and spent new years at her moms and went to sleep at 1215. drove back to OKC and got ready for the wedding

Wedding went well, and the reception dinner was nice, although they didn't tell me that the only way to get to the private dining room was up some metal stairs but by dad is a trooper and walked the stairs by himself, it was a little expensive but not too bad. She did have a friend that i don't like staying with her so after the wedding we had to drop off her friend at the airport immediately, this girl said that she channeled my wifes dead sister and grandma.
then we stayed in very old hotel in downtown known as the skirvin, every thing went well till i backed into a cement light post with my truck, f'd up the bumper pretty bad (cant open the tailgate)
went back to houston with her mom and flew to san juan on the ninth, starting our honeymoon.